You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
