best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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