I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
