garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
