you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize