Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
