did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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