a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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