Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
