I'm going to jail i love you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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