Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize