p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
