My hand turned me down
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
