i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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