I CAN MOONWALK!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
