I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize