A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
