You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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