Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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