how can u be prego again
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
