My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
