I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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