I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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