WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize