i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
