A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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