i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
