nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
