u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
