you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
