K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
