its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's blow job season.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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