Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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