Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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