Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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