I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
