im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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