IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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