Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
