ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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