my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
