I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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