I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
