If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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