we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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