I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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