if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
