Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Randomize
