woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
