I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
