You work out of a Hotel?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
