I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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