how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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