This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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