guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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