dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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