Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
