Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
